However, there are some drawbacks to hyphenating. She completed Design House Prep School's Wedding Etiquette study and has seven years of experience as a wedding stationer. 11 comments. About 20% of women married in recent years kept their maiden name, and another 10% compromised with a blended or hyphenated surname. Marriage Certificates and Licenses: Everything You Need to Know. Three years later, when our second son came along, we moaned and groaned in anticipation of another hyphenated name. Create a new last name by combining both surnames. We considered naming them after our favourite hiking trail, or the city we’d lived in and loved when our first was conceived. The only decision is which surname sounds better before the hyphen and which should come after. This allows your child to share both parents' names while avoiding cumbersome hyphenated or double last names. I changed my name for the sake of my kids—and I regret it If you want to change your child's surname, there are some circumstances when a name change [1] petition will be approved without the consent of both parents:. How to Get a Marriage License in New York City, Tips for Filing Your Taxes as a Married Couple, Everything You Need to Know About Traveling and a Name Change. .related-article-block{display:inline-block;width:300px;padding:0.5rem;margin-left:0.5rem;float:right;border:1px solid #ccc}@media (max-width: 525px){.related-article-block{float:none;display:block;width:280px;margin:0 auto 2rem}} We brought a certified copy of his birth certificate and travel wasn’t a problem. They can be lengthy: Make sure you consider how long your name will be when joined together via a hyphen. I hyphenated my kid's last name—four years later, I changed my mind. Pros: One way to get around hyphens yet honor both parents is to create a new name from both parents' last names. About a week later, the trouble started. But finally we settled on squishing together the first half of my last name and the second half of my husband’s last name. Just as we’d been warned, the hyphen was a real pain. ... Why my two children have different last names The new name felt both fresh and grounded in their history. Keep your surname. Michelle M. Winner is a luxury lifestyle writer and an ordained non-denominational minister. When we’d gotten married several years earlier, I opted not to change my name. If you both know that you are keeping your own last names, there is no reason to stress over what you should do. From our initial conversation, we knew we didn’t want him to only have one of our names. accomplishments which you have gained before your marriage. Another potential con is when it comes to your children. You may have to educate people on your correct last name. By Julia Pelly February 14, 2019. February 14, 2019. hide. Do you have baby name regret?When our son came wailing into the world, we grinned down at all nine pounds, nine ounces of him, signed the birth certificate and headed home with our hyphenated-last-name baby. - Page 3: my boyfriend and i arent married. You may choose to hyphenate your name no matter which gender you identify with or whom you are marrying, as no law or rule prevents you from doing so. If you have children, which name will they use as a last name? By the time he turned one, we had encountered issues with almost every major institution we interacted with. If they use one name or the other, offer a polite correction and a warm smile. Thanks! Does the child get the last name of the father or of the mother? It’s not common to give a hyphenated last name to your children which means you’d likely have a different last name than your children. Pros of Keeping Your Last Name: It keeps your professional identity consistent In the age of the Internet, a lot of our accomplishments and our digital footprint make up who we are, and unfortunately, it can be a little tricky to track that after a name change. (It seemed unfair to erase half of his history just because we wanted things to be simple.) But giving our kids different last names didn’t seem like an option. to make sure everyone has the names correctly noted in their files. In most states, the cost isn't more than a few hundred dollars, but that amount could be prohibitive for some people. Why my two children have different last namesThe new name felt both fresh and grounded in their history. Ideally I could get some advice and hear stories on here from people who can give good reasoning as to why hyphenating a child's last name is not a good idea, but I'm really open for any discussion on the topic. How Much Does it Cost to Change Your Name? St. Joseph Communications uses cookies for personalization, to customize its online advertisements, and for other purposes. "Many couples with more conservative upbringings may not be keen on the idea. I still didn’t want to give them just one of our last names, but the unconventional idea of making up a new name suddenly didn’t seem so weird. Once the legal name change was complete, most of the opposition quieted down. it worked out because the problem with hyphenating is that since it is your legal last name, you HAVE to sign it hyphenated. Explaining the change to others was more of a challenge—we definitely ruffled some feathers. Pros: One that will? Con they have a long last name,their last name is different than their parents When I brought this up to my husband, he agreed without a moment’s hesitation. You might want to keep the name you have, but if you are changing your name, you have options: Here, we're exploring the last option, hyphenating your last name, with help from expert Valerie Freeman. By Julia Pelly In modern-day America and much of the English-speaking western world, the choice to hyphenate has less to do with the bourgeoise as it is a declaration of equality.Â, "Hyphenating your last name may also be a sentimental choice," says Freeman. First, his health insurance card came with just the second half of his hyphenated name, and when I called to let them know there was a mistake, I was told their system wasn’t capable of inputting hyphens. Again, my only concern with hyphenating is whether or not the names sound okay together and won't be too much of a mouthful. Another issue in many cases is deciding what the last name is going to be for the minor child. 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